when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
