Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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