I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize