I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My hand turned me down
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
