im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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