That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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