Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
