She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
