Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
