NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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