This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
