turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I love having hate sex.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
