um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize