i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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