Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
