I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
