Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
