Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
