so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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