no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
