That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
my liver is dry heaving
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
