Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
