i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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