I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize