Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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