i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
