Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
