Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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