she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
