need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dual....:-)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
