My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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