I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
