Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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