I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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