i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
