you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
