i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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