Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
