A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize