I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
