Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My ATM looks so different sober.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
