the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
