You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
