hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
