So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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