in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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