I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she woke up with a sticky ear
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
