it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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