***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
