Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
