Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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