i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
