Non-Jews are for practice
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
