He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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