I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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