The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize