im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
