u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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