so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
