Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize