ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
